As a courier, if you are lucky enough to be able to collect and deliver to overseas destinations, there are some phrases and cultural positions that are usually worth avoiding. Here are some examples that illustrate what that means.
We do not do things this way in Britain
Maybe not, but if you do not happen to be in Britain when you pronounce these immortal words, its quite likely that you are academic and achieve nothing but to upset the person you are dealing with.
Do not you speak English?
This gem is likely to cause, at best, infidelity and, at worst, crime. This will go down particularly well in France, as it may cause shutters to be pulled down and you and your vehicle turn into the back of the sex (even if it does not exist).
Just then I get this mess sorted out
Difficult as it may be to understand, people abroad do not think they are in touch and in desperate need of a British messenger to show them how to do things the right way. Even if they are, it may be advisable to use a little more diplomatic language!
Look, look at me
When abroad, some courier drivers seem to find it impossible to suppress the call to change to charader mode the moment there are the fewest language deviations. It is interesting how many of these mimes are culture-specific and how often they simply do not cross national borders. So if you iron in circles with your arms extended and squeeze the sound, perhaps the locals will not immediately understand that you are trying to convey them that they need to find a forklift. You may think that they are just pointing you towards the nearest poultry farm.
Can you do it quickly - I have to get away quickly
Although this request would be considered routine and even polite in English and in a British business environment, it will not be good in many European countries. It is likely to be interpreted as you are intrusive or trying to throw your weight around. You are likely to achieve exactly the opposite of what you set to achieve, so being more careful can be advisable!
Indeed, what I did can not be illegal on the roads here!
This is a big, usually expressed with a note of righteous upset and anger when speaking to the police or a traffic manager. You can probably bet on your last penny that the official you handle most likely believes you have violated something or else - or they would not waste your time and yours. Interested in being in a foreign courier explaining the philosophical and logical shortcomings throughout their legal and judicial system is in reality all that is likely to happen that they will be even more likely to write that ticket than they were before you decided to try to train them.
I will not be back here again!
Usually, after a courier has been royally messed when collecting or delivering, it is often a sign of frustration. Of course, when using this, there are some sad realities to keep in mind:
The person you have defended this statement against, like a sword of righteous retribution, probably does not give a brass, if they ever see you again or not!
If youre not a millionaire with big investments in the country in question, its extremely unlikely theyll ever notice - even if youre permanently disillusioned with them and never go back there.
They know that impressive as your speech was, you will be there again next week if your boss at home says so!
So what does this mean? Probably the only thing you can derive from here is that the courier that supplies abroad needs a lot of humor and some impeccable diplomatic skills!